Emergency and Minutiae

Seesawing my way through each day.

My daughter sent this photo through our family chat this week. In some offbeat way it resonates with me. Baloo Corgi is on relaxed look-out while Pixie looks slightly alarmed beside him. I don’t know how my emotional state looks on a scale these days. I feel myself sliding back and forth and trying hard to maintain some balance.

I continue to show up by making calls on a near daily basis to my elected officials. I’m showing up for in-person events when I can. I’ve pivoted my shopping to companies whose values and behaviors align with rule of law and social justice. I sign in to a couple of Zoom meetings a week to keep tabs on current thought by people who have a bigger picture view than I do.

Meanwhile I work, seeing a pretty full roster of clients in psychotherapy with a lot of EMDR happening during those sessions. I’m a mother and a grandmother and I live with a small menagerie of animals who need daily care. The small farm we live on is quickly moving into its jungle season. The mower has finally died. I can’t keep up with it all, but on the other hand, I will never run out of things to do with my hands: grooming a horse, a pony, and two miniature donkeys through shedding season, managing a senior citizen cat and dog in the midst of very active younger ones.

The pollen is heavy this year and I am having allergy symptoms. I’ve retreated to my most comforting TV shows: Gardeners’ World and Escape To The Country. I already live in the country but this show helps people find homes in the UK. When I tell you I am searching online on a nightly basis for farms for sale I am not joking. The last time I did this was during Covid years when we had the same person in the White House we do right now. I hope we get through this.

I’m building a path in our little woodland slope adjacent to our bee hives. During Covid and lock down I sat in a chair with binoculars and watched the bees going in and out. It was honestly one of the most peaceful times in my life. But I had to put away my devices every night, read novels and watch comforting TV, and do the same seesaw dance I’m doing now to keep my mind and body in some state of balance.

The mantra I’m using right now came from Cory Booker in his 25-hour filibuster speech.

The power of the people is greater than the people in power.

And, my own words:

My ability to find calm each day is greater than the world’s ability to disrupt it.

May this be true for every one who reads this today.

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